This week I had one of the toughest internal debate in a very long time. I was faced with a proposal that I would summarize as: “I’m going to change everything that you know and that you like, I’m going to order you to follow blindly what I’m doing, and I’m going to ask you to give up things that you value a lot and that makes you who you are. In exchange I’m going to help you make a lot of money. If you’re not interested, here’s the door.” That’s basically how things were presented to me.

Of course, being who I am, my first reaction was rejection: no amount of money in the world would buy my freedom, my self-thinking, my soul. In addition to that, the person who initiated this wind of change was someone I trusted, respected and loved; someone I considered a close friend.

Over the course of the week, things went from bad to worse. And every morning I woke-up with a new thought. It made for pretty heavy awakening moments:

• Monday: Excitement – something new was about to happen
• Tuesday: Motivation – change is good, new options, new opportunities, new directions…
• Wednesday: Belief – surrounding atmosphere starts to crackle but I still believe this is good, and stand by my position
• Thursday: Discomfort - starting to witness things that I don’t feel comfortable with: abusive behaviors, disrespect, rejection to attempts of communication. When the question becomes “Why should I do that?” and the answer is “Because I say so…”
• Friday: Rejection – I know the confrontation is coming and I’m not ready to compromise. I’m not for sale.
• Saturday: Deception – How can someone I loved and respected so much can become a total stranger. It’s Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Dollars signs are floating in the air and I’m at loss.
• Sunday: Understanding – Communication opened-up with the initiator of that change (whom stayed very quiet as things were unfolding all week long) and I finally get to see where that person comes from. Playing the week over and over in my head, I finally come to realize what went wrong on Friday and how things could have been salvaged.

A good sales person identifies it’s prospect. And selling a new environment is nothing else but selling. Here’s how the conversation went and how it could have gone:

• Consultant: I need you to change everything you know, to adapt to my beliefs and to stick to a plan that I’m putting together. You’re going to have to give yourself 100% in that and I don’t see how you can manage both your universes. I think you will need to drop one of them.
• LittleAudrey: I don’t know if I can do that. Having those two universes is what’s balancing me, what’s making me happy.
• C: But you’re going to make a lot more money if you do what I say
• LA: Money is not my priority, life balance and happiness are. Money is not my carrot.
• C: Then I’m sorry to say, but I don’t need you because money IS my priority as well as your boss/friend’s who hired me.
• LA: …

(rewind last two “sentences” – new answer that would have make all the difference…)

• C: I understand. Your boss/friend is in a place right now where she needs all the support from her friends she can get. You’ve been working together for 2 years. You’ve known each other for longer than that. Are you going to be there for her and help her achieve what she’s trying to accomplish?
• LA: Let’s talk about what you need from me and let’s figure out something that will work for both of us.