There are 3 tips that seem to be the key to stardom in this city. Follow these simple rules and you might find yourself on the cover of Philadelphia Style or any other local gossip column.

1. The trashier the better
Whether it’s the people you surround yourself with or your attitude in general: the trashier, the better! Top outfits to wear to pompous celeb parties: ultra short / ultra low cleavage dresses, preferably in wild patterns or bright colors. The man uniform is a little more boring: jean / t-shirt, preferably designer version, but always accessorized with a couple of young, fake boobed, bimbos (very convenient to have later in the evening when drunk and making out with each other: great appeal to the crowds).

2. When everyone struggle to keep their living resources: stop working!
Because after all, you’re so above the simple worker… To reach the Philebrity status, you need to consider yourself as one and live that way. You “job” now is to report all your actions and thoughts on your blog so that your “million” fans can follow your whereabouts. Potentially, you can start a “modeling” career; meaning get a friend to take naked pictures of you to post on the sus-mentioned blog.

3. Be provocative, oh wait no, better: be rude
Because provocation is done for a greater purpose which you don’t really care about. The purpose is yourself, isn’t it? Be rude to people who serve you, to people whom you don’t consider good enough to be part of your entourage, to half of this city’s population… The rudest and the most obnoxious you get, the more they’ll love you.

When you get to stardom, don’t call me. Really.